Writing a Letter to Your Ex to Free Yourself

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Sometimes in life, a relationship may have ended, but we couldn't find the opportunity or courage to express our feelings to our ex-partner. These thoughts keep haunting us, causing heartache and emotional distress. While counseling and therapy can be beneficial, not everyone has access to them due to time or financial constraints. However, there's a "home method" to work through emotions and find relief – writing a heartfelt letter to your ex, pouring out unsaid words and pent-up emotions, and freeing yourself from emotional burdens.


Writing a letter to your ex to free yourself


To embark on this healing process, find a quiet hour alone. Equip yourself with paper and a pen, ready to write a letter to your ex, following these emotions sequentially:

  1. The name of your ex.

  2. I'm angry with you for ...

  3. I'm upset with you for ...

  4. It hurt me a lot when you …

  5. I am very scared that ...

  6. I am disappointed that ...

  7. I am sad that ...

  8. I am sorry that …

  9. I am grateful to you for …

  10. I apologize to you for ...

  11. I let you go.

  12. I free myself from you. 

Write about each emotion until you feel a sense of relief, and then move on to the next one. This cathartic process can help you find closure and embrace a new chapter in your life.

Approach this process seriously, jotting down everything, even if it seems nonsensical. It may require multiple sheets and hours, especially initially. It's okay to cry; tears are part of the cleansing. Breathe deeply to fully experience your emotions.

This method is genuinely beneficial. Treat the paper as your psychotherapist, pouring out all your feelings. Revisit the letter daily, adding more if needed. Reliving those emotions in your thoughts keeps them with you, but writing them down helps release their grip. When you feel relief, discard or burn the letter.

This method works not only for ex-lovers but also for ex-friends. Expressing my anger towards a friend on paper brought immense relief.

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